21st Century Renaissance Man

Jul 14, 2016

Random Reasons to Hire Me

  1. I once spent fourteen days traveling throughout Mexico tying balloon animals and breaking bricks in a strong-man show: if you interview me I’ll tell you about the time we performed in a prison during a riot.
  2. I can't keep my Trail Blazer season tickets if I don't have a job. You can be a part of preventing this travesty.
  3. I whole-heartedly believe that you can run any business with only three pieces of software: Microsoft Excel, Adobe Photoshop, and a decent text editor with spell check. I have mastered all three.
  4. My oldest son is a certified genius, which means there is a fifty-fifty chance he gets it from me.
  5. My neurosis is yours to exploit. As an Army brat I moved around a lot as a kid forcing me to work hard at being noticed and likeable. To this day I still have a relentless drive to be great at my work with no need for recognition other than the occasional high-five and a “let’s get lunch” from the people I work with.
  6. I have owned the domain name side2.com since 1994, before you had to pay for them; that is also how long I have used the Internet for marketing.
  7. I was a bi-vocational Pastor for fifteen years which gave me in-depth understanding of working with, motivating, and inspiring people in creative ways.
  8. My ex-wife is willing to be a character reference and I am not afraid of what she will say. She has no financial motives for saying anything good.
  9. The people who know me best describe my personality as having a “Santa Clause” effect: my jolly nature is contagious, especially for children, old people, and animals.
  10. Statistically speaking, the next ten years of my life will be the most productive. I could spend it watching Netflix and slowly going crazy OR I could put my twenty years of experience to work for you and we could all make a lot of money. I choose the latter.
  11. My wife is convinced I could win big on Jeopardy only if I never chose a daily double (the allure of saying “all in Alex” may be my downfall).
  12. The words “entrepreneurial spirit”, “self-starter”, and “work independently” get tossed around a lot in job descriptions. These are really code words for “can you get the job done successfully with limited supervision”; I have the passion, drive and commitment you need and the portfolio to back it up.

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